All we have to say is, thank God Nadya Suleman turned down big-money offers to do porn a few years back.

After perusing the topless, near-nude photos of this mother of the one of the world's rarest set of octuplets, all we can say is: Ralph.

Wow. We will add this ladies:

It is true that you sometimes sacrifice your bodies to give the world the gift of human life. And we thank you for it.

Just don't pose half-nude after having a football team. Please.

The near-nude photos of northern Orange County's Suleman, some of which appeared at TMZ this week, make her appear to be as loose and doughy as a mother of 14 should be.

And that pouty Collegen-plumped, thick-eyebrow punctuated face? She looks like cartoon-dog Droopy on a particularly depressing day.

Her lawyer said she was photographed for a European magazine in exchange the cash because she's been unable to hold down a job and needs the money.

We'll pay her to stop.

[@dennisjromero / djromero@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]